Just venting

I promised to be brutally honest so here I go. I did not realise that having a business would trigger anxiety, panic, self-doubts, jealousy and whatnot. 

Every single second a thought of whether any orders will come in today, how will I manage the finances, the Instagram post, and reels, when the deliveries will happen or if the candles will reach in a proper condition, and will I be able to retain the clientele. The list is endless.  

I am not saying that I come into this in a hope of achieving everything easily "Thali mei Saja Hua", but this isn't the easiest of things. 

I am also not saying that this is not going well, but when someone comes to me and says, "nice work yaar" or "kaafi aesthetic vibes hai" I do feel good and appreciated and validated.

I work literally 24*7, I am doing everything on my own and it does drain me a lot. Working so hard and not getting the same amount of response, feeling unsatisfied at the end of the day. 

Posting 3 times a day, managing studying, production, new ideas, buying raw material etc, etc, etc......

That is exactly how I am feeling right now, and this chain of thought ends with just one inner voice and that is

"YOU CHOOSE THIS", no one forced you or asked you to do it. You could have had a " 22 Tak Padhai, 25 pe Naukri, 26 pe Chokra, 30 pe bachche, 60 pe retirement … Aur phir maut ka intezaar".

It is still not easy, and that's how I feel right now, not going to ignore this feeling, I do feel demotivated and drained. I know I will be okay and will write a fairytale-ish motivational blog, but rn that's how I feel........

- @healandsense